THE END OF MELAYUS?

Those who believe that Malaysia is better off having non-Malays govern it (because they are incorruptible and honest) need to check their brains and see if it is still in their skulls.
Even if the ‘new’ set of Malays take over, we all know who runs the country right? The so-called new Malay PM in this scenario will just be a mere puppet who will loyally rubber stamp whatever those persons (who really wield the power) want them to.
Who are these people? They are the ones who want to rid Malaysia of the Bumiputera status, the Malay reserve lands, the declaration that Malaysia has an official religion which is Islam, the monarchy and anything else that UMNO has set in place since independence. All these things do not benefit Malaysia in their minds.
Of course, the new cabinet will also have more non-Malays than Malays and they will also demand a non-Malay person as a powerful deputy PM.
Bahasa Malaysia, the language, will be given an ‘official’ language status but other languages will be allowed too for official correspondence with the government and in the end BM will be shunned. English will be the lingua franca within ten years. There might even be the possibility of Singapore rejoining Malaysia thus the number of Parliamentary seats will swing forever in their favour thus ending Malay governance until the end of time.
But this is what the urban Malays seem to want and quite a chunk of rural Malays who think the Malays will still rule the country with the Rocket people in power. This naive mentality is quite cute. It’s the kind of mentality that most Malays in Singapore have adopted. They believe that after 50 years of independence from Malaysia, the Malays in Singapore are on par with their fellow Singaporeans and that they are equal in the eyes of the government and law. That’s obvious what since their next President will be a Malay because other candidates who aren’t Malay are not allowed to nominate themselves to be the island’s decorative Head of State. The Malays can only get positions only if they allow you to and that in the end, the position is non-executive nor functional.
This is the Malaysia that you all seek where the Malays will end up living in the shrinking villages of their childhood whilst the urban centres are for the others including urban Malays who would have sold their souls, their culture, their language, their peoples, their religion, their land, in the pursuit of the almighty cash.

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FITNAH et al DURING RAMADHAN

I really did not want to post anything during this month. But because the usual suspects from the Opposition has decided to shove decorum up the yahoo, and continue to spill nonsense, lies and rubbish, I said why not. At least some people can decide for themselves whether these idiots are just lying through their teeth to topple the government or that they actually believe in these lies themselves. Either way, their credibility is shot.
Of course, what has happened is that this chaotic entity in the US called the Department of Justice (DOJ) is strangely bringing up the so called Kleptocracy Act against some individuals in the US and that they are trying to seize more that a billion US dollars of property supposedly acquired with money stolen from IMDB. If and when they succeed, they want to return these monies to the Malaysian people. Firstly, as far as we now legally, there is no money that has been lost from ImDB. Where these individuals found the money to acquire wealth in the US is not know but from what I know, they are already filthy rich buggers well before they got embroiled in the IMdB controversy.
IMdB has publicly announced that all the money they are managing are all accounted for, so what is this money that the DoJ claims to want to get back for Malaysia? And who are these Malaysian people that they want to return the money to? Let’s say they manage to recoup this strange accounting mumbo jumbo money that they said was stolen from the citizens of Malaysia by a government entity. Let’s just say lah. For the sake of saying. Then they return the money to whom? The government that they say is crooked? Or to the citizens via channels that only they seem to know? Or maybe to one of the opposition parties that they deem honest and clean?
Anyway, all these chatter on social media about ImdB lah, the mysterious pink diamond lah, and whatever else….it all looks fishy to all of us. We know what the US government is capable of when they want an incumbent government to fall – see Syria, Yemen, Egypt, Tunisia and Iraq to mention just a few. You might want to add Greece, Turkey, Ukraine too.
The funny thing is that there are so many Malaysians, or so-called Malaysians who are gullible and willing to lap all this up and regurgitate it all out again to the people in order to confuse Malaysians and turn the rakyat against the government, the leadership and at times even our Monarchy.
The rakyat should really not take anything at face value and check out the facts. Listen to Lim Sian See, a non Malay who defends and attacks the oppositions non stop stream of lies by putting forth facts and figures that CANNOT be disputed. Yet somehow the Opposition seem to have some powerful mojo or mumbo jumbo that blind the rakyat to all these facts. On this score, they are quite effective. I won’t say much about their governance lah…cause personally, they spend more time politicking and wheeling and dealing to actually govern their states for the sake of ALL citizens. Even the unfortunate and needless death of Nhaveen was politicised by them and blamed on the BN government. Every that is bad – blame BN. That’s their credo. That’s their strategy. That is the only way they can try to wrest the government from the people. Forget that our stock market is bullish and performing well. Forget that trade numbers are positive. Forget that FGV has NOT lost money at all as a trading company, and all the noise was because the stock value of FGV has gone down. And we all know that stock value can be manipulated by powerful external business entities.
There’s so much shit going around that the stink sticks to these people who spout them.
But then again, I might be lying through my teeth.

The King Arthur you don’t know of.

Guy Ritchie’s latest movie King Arthur is another big yawnfest. Whilst The Man From UNCLE could have been better with a bit more action pieces, his reworking of the King Arthur legend is a total fuck up. You see a bit of the Jedi lore and a lot of the Lord of the Rings  scattered about in his retelling of Camelot.

What is missing is Lancelot, Guinevere and Merlin. What is missing is a lot of coherency in the story telling. And to socially update the lore by turning Sir Beldevere into a black guy seems totally unnecessary.

Of course, King Arthur suffered from PS4 syndrome. The final battle between Arthur and Voltegen or Modred or whoever the heck he is looks like it is straight out of the Playstation console.

Arthur, this year’s biggest summer casualty so far. (Haven’t seen Baywatch yet)

Then again, I may be lying.

King Arthur the flop.

HE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING

Don’t you hate doing business with someone who knows everything? Especially those who hire experts and consultants and then continue to control and run everything as if they know it all. Then why waste money hiring experts and consultants? You seem to know everything. You don’t want to hear what these experts have to say, and when you do let them open their mouths two things happen…you cut short their opinions or statements or you disagree completely and force them to agree with what you actually wanted to happen or buy.

These know it alls can be so infuriating. To friends and colleagues they praise these experts and consultants telling them that they are the best in the field. Yet, once these experts and consultants are hired, completely ignore all advise and opinions. They (the experts and consultants) are there merely for decoration.

Worse thing is that these experts and consultants know that this guy is talking through his a-hole. He must have read somewhere or heard somewhere these information and coupled with these couple of information, he has suddenly turned into an expert on the subject at hand.

Actually the reason he hires all these experts and consultants is that he actually wants them to agree with his brilliant ideas and suggestions. Which is fine, but the problem is when things go wrong with anything, he blames the experts and consultants for not pointing the problem out to him earlier.

You can never win with this guy.

And he gets away with it because i) he is a successful man ii) people are too scared to point out the obvious.

But then again, I may be bullshitting y’all.

HE RUES THE LOSS OF MALAY NATIONALISM.

He gets more and more irritating. His latest rant is that he rues the loss of Malay nationalism. WTF is he talking about? He wants to destroy UMNO, he wants to end BN, he goes to bed with a known bigot…and he got the cheek to say he rues the loss of Malay nationalism? Hello uncle…it’s 2017 already…whatever Malay nationalism that’s left exists only in UMNO and institutions created by UMNO. We are still fighting the good fight…a fight made bloody effing difficult by you. It’s really about time that you just shut the effup.

Then again I could be lying.

DAMIEN THORNE IS AMONGST US?

I actually welcome the presence of Donald Trump in international politics and diplomacy. For once, the Americans can see through their President’s actions who they are in the eyes of the rest of the world. Yup, Trump is a true blue caricature of the true American.

Really. Previous administrations disguise themselves in diplomatic rhetoric and PRspeak so that the US looks like nice guys. They are the guys fighting for freedom and democracy.  They are the guys who are here to save the world. They are basically bullshit artists.

With Trump in the driver’s seat, all PR, all diplomatic cosmetics are OFF. And we see what the Americans as they are – bullies, idiots and an obnoxious lot. Those who praise and point to the Americans are something they are proud to be or try to be, are now the Emperor with new clothes. Naked and laid bare by Trump for the whole world to see and laugh. And yet, they are thick skinned enough to ignore and continue their reckless ways.

Personally and in my humble opinion, Trump will trigger the third and final World War. He is stupid and dumb enough to think that another war is a GREAT IDEA. A really GREAT IDEA. So it should not come as a shock to all of us that Damien Thorne and Donald Trump share the same initials.

 

 

The Sanctity of Ramadhan Forgotten – Tun Mudah Lupa

I wrongly expected that the attacks on our government by Tun and his cronies would die down during Ramadhan, or at least watered down. It is after all a holy month, a month to fast, to do good deeds, to reflect on our past sins and to find pahla to offset those sins we have accumulated. I was wrong. The attacks and lies continue. Nothing seems to bother this old man. Not even the purity of Ramadhan can calm his vitriolic attacks. Of course, using Sarawak Report to begin a new round of falsehoods doesn’t soften the sins of lying.  Layers do not cover nor lessen one’s sins. If you pay someone to kill another person, you are still the main sinner and culprit. If you pay someone else to spout falsehoods, you are still the main liar and fabricator.

Sad to see that how desperate one can get when things do not go one’s way. But what is sad is that he has declared war on BN and UMNO and no more just Najib. Previously, his beef was against our PM. So much so that he is willing to sleep with the enemy, no, heck, he is willing to sleep with the Devil. People he used to mock and attack during his days as PM are now his sleeping partners. Kit Siang and son, are now kautim friends.

Basically, Tun wants the BN government to collapse. And if you think it is because of IMDB, think again. IMDB is just his sleight of hand…he just wants BN to die. Simple as that. Once BN is dead, a new era of governance will be put in place – one that shall not differ much from Singapore. Let’s just call a spade a spade. The Chinese will rule Malaysia if BN collapses. The days of Malay political dominance will be wipes out in an instant. And because the Malays do not dominate the economy, their fight to win back the country will always fail. This is what Tun seems to want to happen. Sad.

THE MAN WHO FOUNDED KL?

In a local Press today there is an article about Kapitan Yap Ah Loy. The article is celebrating 180 years of the man the writer want us to believe that he (Yap Ah Loy) is be responsible for the rebuilding of Kuala Lumpur. What utter crap. I thought I am the best bullshitter around, but this writer takes the cake whitewashing the real history of Yap Ah Loy. Why? Most probably he is pissed that historians are declaring that a Malay man is the founder of Kuala Lumpur and not this triad leader named Yap Ah Loy.

Of course, Yap Ah Loy deserves a place in our history – but a place as what? Did he discover Kuala Lumpur? Of course not, it was already there when he became Kapitan. Was he the first Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur? Kidding me? He was the third Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur. He was not even the automatic candidate and was not part of the clan whose candidate should be elected Kapitan. Yap was already a small Kapitan – the Kapitan of Sungei Ujong when the Kapitan China of Kuala Lumpur, Liu Ngim Kong, employed him as his Panglima. The supposed heir to the title of Kapitan was supposed to be another guy named Chong Chong but since Ah Loy was very close to Kapitan Liu, the dying Liu decided to appoint Yap to succeed him instead. To confirm himself as Kapitan (because the Chinese community did not want Yap as Kapitan) he got an old friend Raja Mahadi and Sutan Puasa to confirm his position as the new Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur and thus sowed the seeds for the Chinese involvement in the on-going Klang Civil War.

So what did he do that was remarkable in his first years as Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur? Well, Yap ensured that he controlled the prostitution business in Kuala Lumpur. He also owned a few gambling dens and a helluva lot of opium dens. Tin was a side business to him – two tin mines at most. He was very political and was the head a secret society that gave him the power to ensure his place as Kapitan. When Chong Chong killed a good friend of his, he chased Chong Chong and when Chong Chong found refuge in a small village called Kanching, Ah Loy massacred the whole village when they refused to cooperate in handing over Chong Chong to him.

And when war broke out between Klang and Selangor Palace due to the interference of Tengku Kudin, who stole Raja Mahadi’s fiance, Yap Ah Loy decided to bail out on his friends in Klang and join forces with the Tengku Kudin and the Sultan of Selangor. And to show his respect to the Sultan of Selangor, Yap offered the Sultan a huge bale of opium.

But throughout the civil war, Mahadi showed that he was the better war lord and had better generals and army and actually conquered Kuala Lumpur twice. Ah Loy was already a bankrupt at the end of the war. Only when the Temenggong of Pahang decided to join forces and help out the Selangor Sultanate did it turn the tide of war. Oh yes, Ah Loy also borrowed money from Malacca to buy rockets to destroy Kuala Lumpur in order to chase our Mahadi from Kuala Lumpur.

And when Mahadi lost in 1873 (after over ten years of battling for his right to be King of Klang), Kuala Lumpur was at peace again. Ah Loy became the town’s administrator working closely with the British to make Kuala Lumpur the capital city of Selangor. However, it really wasn’t Ah Loy who rebuilt KL, it was the British who used the Civil War to entrenched themselves into local politics and commerce. One of the most significant pay off to the British in their part to defeat Mahadi was the gift of land to the son in law of a man named Guthrie. Familiar name? That piece of land given to him became the cornerstone of a great empire called Guthrie.

Anyway, it’s 180 years since the Kapitan Cina of Sungei Ujong became Kapitan China of Kuala Lumpur and we are supposed to celebrate it? What for? If we celebrate it, we are celebrating a person who is basically a mass murderer, a successful pimp with more than a thousand prostitutes under his control, a gambling den tycoon, a powerful drug lord with his opium dens all around the town and an unsuccessful war general. If we want to remember him, let’s remember who he really was and no need to white wash him as the founder and rebuilder of Kuala Lumpur. Because he wasn’t.

But then again, I could be bullshitting you.

FAT STORIES ARE JUICIER

Yup, I am fat. I know I am fat. I think I am fat and therefore I am fat. But that’s another story. What’s more important are the stuff that I am going to write about – fat juicy stories. And when you digest the fat stories, you get to the bare bones of the truth. You all heard of alternative facts, well, this fat bugger, will offer you alternative lies. Yup lies. So if you believe what I write as the fat gospel truth, that’s your problem.

So be prepared, to know and be dragged into the new alternative consciousness of the big fat lie.

Hello thin world

This blog will be refreshingly obnoxious to all those who read it. Things that do you want to know who P Ramlee was? Do you want to know if Hang Tuah really existed? Do you want to know really if a Malay was the first man to circumnavigate the world? Do you want to know if Hang Li Po really existed? Do you want to know how horny the Malays are? Me too. But then again, I can always offer your stories that would make your head spin. Stick around. Order that Bic Mac or Texas Chicken. Fat Melayu here will offer you juicy fat stories and big fat lies. Can you tell the difference?