He gets more and more irritating. His latest rant is that he rues the loss of Malay nationalism. WTF is he talking about? He wants to destroy UMNO, he wants to end BN, he goes to bed with a known bigot…and he got the cheek to say he rues the loss of Malay nationalism? Hello uncle…it’s 2017 already…whatever Malay nationalism that’s left exists only in UMNO and institutions created by UMNO. We are still fighting the good fight…a fight made bloody effing difficult by you. It’s really about time that you just shut the effup.

Then again I could be lying.



I actually welcome the presence of Donald Trump in international politics and diplomacy. For once, the Americans can see through their President’s actions who they are in the eyes of the rest of the world. Yup, Trump is a true blue caricature of the true American.

Really. Previous administrations disguise themselves in diplomatic rhetoric and PRspeak so that the US looks like nice guys. They are the guys fighting for freedom and democracy.  They are the guys who are here to save the world. They are basically bullshit artists.

With Trump in the driver’s seat, all PR, all diplomatic cosmetics are OFF. And we see what the Americans as they are – bullies, idiots and an obnoxious lot. Those who praise and point to the Americans are something they are proud to be or try to be, are now the Emperor with new clothes. Naked and laid bare by Trump for the whole world to see and laugh. And yet, they are thick skinned enough to ignore and continue their reckless ways.

Personally and in my humble opinion, Trump will trigger the third and final World War. He is stupid and dumb enough to think that another war is a GREAT IDEA. A really GREAT IDEA. So it should not come as a shock to all of us that Damien Thorne and Donald Trump share the same initials.



The Sanctity of Ramadhan Forgotten – Tun Mudah Lupa

I wrongly expected that the attacks on our government by Tun and his cronies would die down during Ramadhan, or at least watered down. It is after all a holy month, a month to fast, to do good deeds, to reflect on our past sins and to find pahla to offset those sins we have accumulated. I was wrong. The attacks and lies continue. Nothing seems to bother this old man. Not even the purity of Ramadhan can calm his vitriolic attacks. Of course, using Sarawak Report to begin a new round of falsehoods doesn’t soften the sins of lying. ¬†Layers do not cover nor lessen one’s sins. If you pay someone to kill another person, you are still the main sinner and culprit. If you pay someone else to spout falsehoods, you are still the main liar and fabricator.

Sad to see that how desperate one can get when things do not go one’s way. But what is sad is that he has declared war on BN and UMNO and no more just Najib. Previously, his beef was against our PM. So much so that he is willing to sleep with the enemy, no, heck, he is willing to sleep with the Devil. People he used to mock and attack during his days as PM are now his sleeping partners. Kit Siang and son, are now kautim friends.

Basically, Tun wants the BN government to collapse. And if you think it is because of IMDB, think again. IMDB is just his sleight of hand…he just wants BN to die. Simple as that. Once BN is dead, a new era of governance will be put in place – one that shall not differ much from Singapore. Let’s just call a spade a spade. The Chinese will rule Malaysia if BN collapses. The days of Malay political dominance will be wipes out in an instant. And because the Malays do not dominate the economy, their fight to win back the country will always fail. This is what Tun seems to want to happen. Sad.


In a local Press today there is an article about Kapitan Yap Ah Loy. The article is celebrating 180 years of the man the writer want us to believe that he (Yap Ah Loy) is be responsible for the rebuilding of Kuala Lumpur. What utter crap. I thought I am the best bullshitter around, but this writer takes the cake whitewashing the real history of Yap Ah Loy. Why? Most probably he is pissed that historians are declaring that a Malay man is the founder of Kuala Lumpur and not this triad leader named Yap Ah Loy.

Of course, Yap Ah Loy deserves a place in our history – but a place as what? Did he discover Kuala Lumpur? Of course not, it was already there when he became Kapitan. Was he the first Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur? Kidding me? He was the third Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur. He was not even the automatic candidate and was not part of the clan whose candidate should be elected Kapitan. Yap was already a small Kapitan – the Kapitan of Sungei Ujong when the Kapitan China of Kuala Lumpur, Liu Ngim Kong, employed him as his Panglima. The supposed heir to the title of Kapitan was supposed to be another guy named Chong Chong but since Ah Loy was very close to Kapitan Liu, the dying Liu decided to appoint Yap to succeed him instead. To confirm himself as Kapitan (because the Chinese community did not want Yap as Kapitan) he got an old friend Raja Mahadi and Sutan Puasa to confirm his position as the new Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur and thus sowed the seeds for the Chinese involvement in the on-going Klang Civil War.

So what did he do that was remarkable in his first years as Kapitan of Kuala Lumpur? Well, Yap ensured that he controlled the prostitution business in Kuala Lumpur. He also owned a few gambling dens and a helluva lot of opium dens. Tin was a side business to him – two tin mines at most. He was very political and was the head a secret society that gave him the power to ensure his place as Kapitan. When Chong Chong killed a good friend of his, he chased Chong Chong and when Chong Chong found refuge in a small village called Kanching, Ah Loy massacred the whole village when they refused to cooperate in handing over Chong Chong to him.

And when war broke out between Klang and Selangor Palace due to the interference of Tengku Kudin, who stole Raja Mahadi’s fiance, Yap Ah Loy decided to bail out on his friends in Klang and join forces with the Tengku Kudin and the Sultan of Selangor. And to show his respect to the Sultan of Selangor, Yap offered the Sultan a huge bale of opium.

But throughout the civil war, Mahadi showed that he was the better war lord and had better generals and army and actually conquered Kuala Lumpur twice. Ah Loy was already a bankrupt at the end of the war. Only when the Temenggong of Pahang decided to join forces and help out the Selangor Sultanate did it turn the tide of war. Oh yes, Ah Loy also borrowed money from Malacca to buy rockets to destroy Kuala Lumpur in order to chase our Mahadi from Kuala Lumpur.

And when Mahadi lost in 1873 (after over ten years of battling for his right to be King of Klang), Kuala Lumpur was at peace again. Ah Loy became the town’s administrator working closely with the British to make Kuala Lumpur the capital city of Selangor. However, it really wasn’t Ah Loy who rebuilt KL, it was the British who used the Civil War to entrenched themselves into local politics and commerce. One of the most significant pay off to the British in their part to defeat Mahadi was the gift of land to the son in law of a man named Guthrie. Familiar name? That piece of land given to him became the cornerstone of a great empire called Guthrie.

Anyway, it’s 180 years since the Kapitan Cina of Sungei Ujong became Kapitan China of Kuala Lumpur and we are supposed to celebrate it? What for? If we celebrate it, we are celebrating a person who is basically a mass murderer, a successful pimp with more than a thousand prostitutes under his control, a gambling den tycoon, a powerful drug lord with his opium dens all around the town and an unsuccessful war general. If we want to remember him, let’s remember who he really was and no need to white wash him as the founder and rebuilder of Kuala Lumpur. Because he wasn’t.

But then again, I could be bullshitting you.


Yup, I am fat. I know I am fat. I think I am fat and therefore I am fat. But that’s another story. What’s more important are the stuff that I am going to write about – fat juicy stories. And when you digest the fat stories, you get to the bare bones of the truth. You all heard of alternative facts, well, this fat bugger, will offer you alternative lies. Yup lies. So if you believe what I write as the fat gospel truth, that’s your problem.

So be prepared, to know and be dragged into the new alternative consciousness of the big fat lie.

Hello thin world

This blog will be refreshingly obnoxious to all those who read it. Things that do you want to know who P Ramlee was? Do you want to know if Hang Tuah really existed? Do you want to know really if a Malay was the first man to circumnavigate the world? Do you want to know if Hang Li Po really existed? Do you want to know how horny the Malays are? Me too. But then again, I can always offer your stories that would make your head spin. Stick around. Order that Bic Mac or Texas Chicken. Fat Melayu here will offer you juicy fat stories and big fat lies. Can you tell the difference?